I treated myself to a premium economy seat for a grueling 14-hour flight—more legroom, fewer headaches. At least, that was the plan.

Not long after takeoff, the guy sitting next to me leaned over and said, “Would you mind switching seats with my wife? She’s back in coach. We just got married.”

“Congrats,” I said. “But unless you’re reimbursing the $1,000 I spent on this seat, I’ll stay right here.”

I figured that would end it. Nope.

He started fake coughing, blasting his movie without headphones, and even brushed crumbs onto my seat. Then his wife came up and literally sat on his lap like we were in some cheesy rom-com. They both smirked at me like they’d pulled off something clever.

I calmly pressed the call button and told the flight attendant, “They seem to think this is a honeymoon suite, not an airplane.”

After I explained everything, the flight attendant turned to them and said, “Please return to your seats in economy.”

Finally—peace and quiet. For about an hour.

Later, the bride tried to come up front again, claiming she needed the restroom—even though the seatbelt sign was on. The attendant didn’t blink: “Take your seat, or I’ll notify the air marshal.”

That shut things down fast.

When we landed, I passed the not-so-happy couple and smiled: “Hope you learned something. Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.”

Then I saw my wife and kid waiting for me at arrivals—and honestly, that beat any upgrade.